We’ve compiled this list of questions based on the learnings of Kinky Salon in San Francisco, London, and Copenhagen. It’s not definitive and the rules are of course subject to change dependent on the feedback of our community. But they’re all here to make the party all the more fun and safe for everyone involved. If you have any questions, feel free to email us.
Q: How do I get tickets?
A: Introduce yourself following the instructions on our sign-up page, being sure to provide all the information we request. The photo is just for accountability, so we know who everyone at the venue is – we’re not judging you. Once you’re confirmed you’ll receive all the info by email.
Q: I’ve never been to an arty sexy party before. Do you have any tips on how I should behave?
A: Dress up, bring a PAL and follow our Code of Conduct and you’ll be fine. For specific playroom etiquette we ask all guests to read our How To Be A Playroom Sweetheart guide.
Q: Is there an age policy?
A: Over 18s only. Aside from that, any age is welcome.
Q: Do I have to use my real name? What if my friends / parents / work find out?
A: We take steps to protect the identity and privacy of all guests. We understand that there are professional people who wish for their private lives to remain as such and we support our guests’ right to use pseudonyms or nicknames if they choose. Our parties are private and the locations a secret. Membership of our Facebook group / page is optional: if you wish to be kept informed about Kinky Salon privately by email that is fine. One of the rules in the Code of Conduct is that all activities at Kinky Salon remain secret. Your folks won’t find out – unless you tell them!
Q: Why do you need my picture for the sign up?
A: More than just a party, we want to build a community with KSB. And a community where people feel safe and respected requires openness and transparency.
We want to discourage anonymity and secrecy, so asking you to send in a photo is a first, basic step in showing trust and commitment. When you join, we want to get some sense of who you are and that your interest in joining the KS community is in alignment of what we wish to co-create as a community. We do not choose members based on your appearance! We also assure you that we keep member photos and information in absolute confidence and will not make further use of any of your pictures of information without your explicit consent!
Q: Do I have to bring proof of identity?
A: If we don’t already know you, on the door we may ask for some way to prove your identity. It doesn’t have to be your passport – we just want to be sure that you are the same person who booked the ticket. If you wish to use nicknames / alternative names on the night we welcome that, but we will expect for you to be the same person/people in the photograph/s you supplied when you requested membership. The longer we’ve known you, the less likely it is we’ll have to ask.
Q: Do you sell tickets on the door? Can we bring a new guest on the door?
A: Kinky Salon Berlin is a family, a group of like-minded people, and so we want to get to know you in advance. We don’t sell tickets on the door or accept new guests on the spur of the moment because this prevents us from getting to know you. However, if you reckon you might ever want to come to Kinky Salon or know someone who might like it, sign up with our mailing list and we’ll keep you informed.
Q: If we decide not to go, can we have a refund? Can we pass our tickets to someone else?
A: Kinky Salon is run by volunteers and there’s a really limited number of tickets. We’re busy putting up fabulous decor and creating insane entertainment. There’s a risk of us losing money if people ask for refunds and processing them takes time. Sorry but you can’t pass your tickets on to anyone else – Kinky Salon Berlin is all about YOU! We can’t exchange tickets to a later date either, so only book if you’re sure you can come.
Q: I’m new to Kinky Salon. Will I fit in? Do I have to “do” anything?
A: Kinky Salon is a caring, embracing, warm community. We encourage you to dress up but there’s no pressure to “do” anything aside from being who you want to be. The playroom is one aspect of Kinky Salon and even for those who never enter it there’s a ton of fun to be had at the cabaret and with our various arty entertainments.
Q: Do you accept single men / single women / pregnant women / threesomes / groups? How about gay / bi / straight / trans / TV people?
A: Yes! All of these people and combinations are positively encouraged, provided you fit our ArSe requirements (Arty and Sexy) …and provided you agree to our Code of Conduct and our Pervy Activity Liaison (PAL) system.
Q: Is rope bondage allowed? Needle play? Mummification? Face-slapping?
A: As long as you can play safely, sanely and consensually all your kinks are welcomed. We ask that people who bring rope, needles or other potentially dangerous items take full responsibility for their use and storage.
Q: Is nudity / naturism allowed?
A: You need to arrive wearing a costume that is in theme. Even if it’s a fairly skimpy costume we normally find that people stay in their clothes until the cabaret. Beyond that nudity is of course allowed and you should expect to see some at least semi-naked people in all spaces. Of course make sure to respect other peoples’ boundaries and personal space.
Q: Can I bring my toys?
A: Whether it’s your Lelo or your Lego, as long as it’s portable and you can keep it on your person, then yes.
Q: Is there a dress code? Will I be refused access if I don’t dress up?
A: Kinky Salon Berlin strongly encourages you to explore (and corrupt) each party’s theme in the way you dress. Creative, interesting, unique outfits are a great way to peacock and to enable others to initiate conversation with you. That’s why dressing up is compulsory at Kinky Salon Berlin, because it helps everyone get in the same silly mood. We don’t expect for you to spend lots of money or to wear anything you don’t feel comfortable or sexy in, but we do expect you to wear a costume that is in line with the theme we suggest. Avoid standard fetishwear or hugely pricy vintage as we’re more about DIY ridiculousness than expensive threads. And be sure to leave the jeans, trainers, sportswear, t-shirts and straight shirts/suits or cocktail dresses at home, unless somehow they’re crucial to a fantasy costume you are creating. If you have any questions about your outfit, feel free to email us.
Q: Will there be photographs or video at the event?
A: We usually have a photobooth. It will be contained in a certain area and run by KSL so you can choose to commemorate your experience or not. Guests are not allowed to roam the party or document the playspaces, and all mobile phones are to be stashed away upon arrival. Please note that photos are opt-out, meaning that we send the photos privately and give guests the option to have the shots deleted. If after a period of time you don’t ask for your picture to be deleted, we may put it on the website to show other guests what the fabulous costumes look like.
Q: Is there a cloakroom? How do I get changed? What happens to clothes in the playspaces?
A: There is a limited, small cloakroom for coats and early in the night you can use the main room’s toilets only for getting changed. If you arrive without your costume on we will ask you to show us your costume before entering.
But people, please only take what you really need as we won’t have a lot of space! We’d rather have two more hotties at the party than store your suitcase or huge holdall. Oh, and please leave your valuables at home! We can’t be held responsible for your iPod or your Swarowski crystal eggcups.
Q: What are your rules on safer sex?
A: The Code of Conduct contains detailed guidelines on safer sex and we expect all partygoers to abide by them. No exceptions. We provide a small amount of safer sex supplies but please make sure you bring your own.
Q: Is there anywhere private for us to play?
A: We have a few internal spaces around the main room but potentially all areas could be interrupted by other guests – we don’t allow locking doors. And please be respectful of the fact that toilet facilities are limited: the potty is not a playroom. We hope you meet some supercool hotties at Kinky Salon Berlin – but if you want private time with them, take ‘em home with you.
Q: What if my partner or PAL wants to leave early?
A: We prefer that you leave when your PAL leaves. You are still responsible for your PAL’s behaviour even if you or they leave early. Please read the PAL rules – they apply to everyone.
Q: Is there any entertainment? Or, I’m interested in performing – can I get involved?
A: Yes – there’s a variety of entertainment that might include DJing, live music, cabaret, poetry, performance art, interactive mayhem… anything at all that you can imagine. Kinky Salon Berlin is built on contributions from the community so if you have something to throw into the mix we want to hear from you: email@example.com
Q: Is there a bar and is it free or paid-for?
A: We have a BYOB bar system. That means that you are welcome to bring your own drinks – they will be tagged with your name and put behind the bar. A volunteer bar keeper will stay behind the bar all night in order to serve you your drinks. We will also have a selection of awesome theme-fitting drinks available for purchase.
Q: What time do the parties start and finish? What is the last permitted arrival time? What happens if I’m late or if I can’t arrive before the arrival time?
A: We ask that guests arrive between 10pm and 11pm so that everyone can get to know each other and our door person can enjoy the party. Doors will close after this time. Parties end at 5am.
Q: I’m shy! How can I meet new people?
A: We provide a number of ice breakers as way to get people mingling but we find the best way to meet new people is to be creative and imaginative. The more you give back to the community, the more likely you will be to meet others. Once inside, feel free to approach a walk-around-host and ask them to introduce you to other guests. And volunteering is always a great chance to meet others!
Q: Can we stay over at the venue?
A: Nope, sorry! Our venue is close to transport links and our venue staff can help you book taxis. If you are planning on staying in a hotel, please email us as we can tell you about nearby hotels.
Q: Is smoking permitted?
A: Not everywhere. There are clearly marked smoking areas which we ask you to respect.
Q: Why do I have to be referenced to become a member?
A: As it’s important to us that our parties have a comfortable and safe energy, we want to make sure that all attendees have a personal relation to the group. It is more important to us, that our community feels familiar rather than it being particular big. If you feel like this excludes you even though you would be an *excellent* match, come to one of our socials and meet us in person. If there is a good personal connection, you’ll be sure to find someone that is willing to reference you.